Last Updated On August 21, 2014
“Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.” -Maurice Sendak
People need magic. People need fantasy. People need fiction. Just as much as the truth. The need is just as legitimate. The current climate puts such a priority on imposing “truth”, I hope we are always able to save some headspace for fairy tales. Information, reality is efficient and direct. It leaves little room for interpretation although there is much more subjectivity going on than the informer imparts. It is also severely lacking. What happened to wondering, dreaming, being silly, making shit up? Our constitutions become anemic when we are not getting enough of this dream energy. It is especially worrisome when the suppression starts so early, in childhood. There is a big emphasis on whether a child has focus, can pay attention..is this really central or did we make it central? We keep creating new formulas to make childhood more manageable, simple. But sometimes I think this is parent code for due diligence. We want credit for filling them up with what they need to know and send them forth blameless. So our lives aren’t messy. So we can fit more in.
What if we were just as fastidious about bringing magic into children’s lives. We are so big and powerful. We are capable. Not out of obligation but out of honor and appreciation for that inefficient head in the clouds part of us. For the part of us that yearns for creativity in the face of NO REASON. For the part of us that needs to bounce in our own bubble. For the part of us that can seriously rock a toilet paper evening gown.
Next time you see an article about “how easy it was to be a mom in the 70’s” or “how insignificant holidays are over-celebrated and this is a real problem” or any other article sighing about time and money wasted on silly endeavors enjoyed by children or encouraging you to check out and engage less- crumple it up and bean one of your kids in the head with it. For fun. For no reason. If its online, print the article out for just this purpose. This might seem wasteful but think about how efficient it is to both bludgeon your kid with “reality” AND start something wonderful. Because no paper wad in flight will go unanswered.
I have a hard time with the current backlash. Never fear, your child will learn of reality. In our time, when kindergarteners are doing classroom drills to survive an armed assault and brown children fear annihilation right on their sidewalks, its pretty guaranteed. Perhaps now more than ever, an extra dose of fantasy is warranted. I question the “stress” associated with this for parents. I also question whether the stress has anything to do with parenting or children. If one feels stressed by the elaborate offerings of pinterest…this is crazy, but get. off. pinterest. Don’t blame this self-induced pressure on children or the “culture of overindulgence”. It has do with competitiveness and too much screen time for adults. I’d call it “childish” but that would be demeaning to children. This is a very adultish problem. If one feels pressured to invest in minor holidays by your kid’s school, I suggest a conversation with the child’s teacher. I know. Its so not sexy. And again- adult problem. And if you’re longing to be a 70’s mom, go right ahead. Give your kid more freedom and hydrate them with some koolaid nostalgia. But if it has to do with imbibing multiple day time cocktails, and binge watching soap operas, or getting ample breaks to smoke your Capris- then what is this really about? Its not about parenting. It sounds more like the need for antidepressants.
Dialing down the magic is no favor to adult or child. A child in fantasy zone is a wonder to behold. The unselfconsciousness, the agendalessness of their play is an example to us all. It is a joyful meditation. Instead of turning away and seeking your peace and simplicity elsewhere- turn toward. Shed your electronics, lose your to do list, and tune in. What if the road to relaxation does not involve another appointment or outside engagement, what if the path lays within? Avail yourself of this world where all that matters is the placement of the next lego. Share your presence. Share your stories. And play like you mean it. Play like your life depends on it. Because in some sense it does.
Last Updated On August 21, 2014
“Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.” -Maurice Sendak
People need magic. People need fantasy. People need fiction. Just as much as the truth. The need is just as legitimate. The current climate puts such a priority on imposing “truth”, I hope we are always able to save some headspace for fairy tales. Information, reality is efficient and direct. It leaves little room for interpretation although there is much more subjectivity going on than the informer imparts. It is also severely lacking. What happened to wondering, dreaming, being silly, making shit up? Our constitutions become anemic when we are not getting enough of this dream energy. It is especially worrisome when the suppression starts so early, in childhood. There is a big emphasis on whether a child has focus, can pay attention..is this really central or did we make it central? We keep creating new formulas to make childhood more manageable, simple. But sometimes I think this is parent code for due diligence. We want credit for filling them up with what they need to know and send them forth blameless. So our lives aren’t messy. So we can fit more in.
What if we were just as fastidious about bringing magic into children’s lives. We are so big and powerful. We are capable. Not out of obligation but out of honor and appreciation for that inefficient head in the clouds part of us. For the part of us that yearns for creativity in the face of NO REASON. For the part of us that needs to bounce in our own bubble. For the part of us that can seriously rock a toilet paper evening gown.
Next time you see an article about “how easy it was to be a mom in the 70’s” or “how insignificant holidays are over-celebrated and this is a real problem” or any other article sighing about time and money wasted on silly endeavors enjoyed by children or encouraging you to check out and engage less- crumple it up and bean one of your kids in the head with it. For fun. For no reason. If its online, print the article out for just this purpose. This might seem wasteful but think about how efficient it is to both bludgeon your kid with “reality” AND start something wonderful. Because no paper wad in flight will go unanswered.
I have a hard time with the current backlash. Never fear, your child will learn of reality. In our time, when kindergarteners are doing classroom drills to survive an armed assault and brown children fear annihilation right on their sidewalks, its pretty guaranteed. Perhaps now more than ever, an extra dose of fantasy is warranted. I question the “stress” associated with this for parents. I also question whether the stress has anything to do with parenting or children. If one feels stressed by the elaborate offerings of pinterest…this is crazy, but get. off. pinterest. Don’t blame this self-induced pressure on children or the “culture of overindulgence”. It has do with competitiveness and too much screen time for adults. I’d call it “childish” but that would be demeaning to children. This is a very adultish problem. If one feels pressured to invest in minor holidays by your kid’s school, I suggest a conversation with the child’s teacher. I know. Its so not sexy. And again- adult problem. And if you’re longing to be a 70’s mom, go right ahead. Give your kid more freedom and hydrate them with some koolaid nostalgia. But if it has to do with imbibing multiple day time cocktails, and binge watching soap operas, or getting ample breaks to smoke your Capris- then what is this really about? Its not about parenting. It sounds more like the need for antidepressants.
Dialing down the magic is no favor to adult or child. A child in fantasy zone is a wonder to behold. The unselfconsciousness, the agendalessness of their play is an example to us all. It is a joyful meditation. Instead of turning away and seeking your peace and simplicity elsewhere- turn toward. Shed your electronics, lose your to do list, and tune in. What if the road to relaxation does not involve another appointment or outside engagement, what if the path lays within? Avail yourself of this world where all that matters is the placement of the next lego. Share your presence. Share your stories. And play like you mean it. Play like your life depends on it. Because in some sense it does.
Last Updated On August 21, 2014
“Children do live in fantasy and reality; they move back and forth very easily in a way we no longer remember how to do.” -Maurice Sendak
People need magic. People need fantasy. People need fiction. Just as much as the truth. The need is just as legitimate. The current climate puts such a priority on imposing “truth”, I hope we are always able to save some headspace for fairy tales. Information, reality is efficient and direct. It leaves little room for interpretation although there is much more subjectivity going on than the informer imparts. It is also severely lacking. What happened to wondering, dreaming, being silly, making shit up? Our constitutions become anemic when we are not getting enough of this dream energy. It is especially worrisome when the suppression starts so early, in childhood. There is a big emphasis on whether a child has focus, can pay attention..is this really central or did we make it central? We keep creating new formulas to make childhood more manageable, simple. But sometimes I think this is parent code for due diligence. We want credit for filling them up with what they need to know and send them forth blameless. So our lives aren’t messy. So we can fit more in.
What if we were just as fastidious about bringing magic into children’s lives. We are so big and powerful. We are capable. Not out of obligation but out of honor and appreciation for that inefficient head in the clouds part of us. For the part of us that yearns for creativity in the face of NO REASON. For the part of us that needs to bounce in our own bubble. For the part of us that can seriously rock a toilet paper evening gown.
Next time you see an article about “how easy it was to be a mom in the 70’s” or “how insignificant holidays are over-celebrated and this is a real problem” or any other article sighing about time and money wasted on silly endeavors enjoyed by children or encouraging you to check out and engage less- crumple it up and bean one of your kids in the head with it. For fun. For no reason. If its online, print the article out for just this purpose. This might seem wasteful but think about how efficient it is to both bludgeon your kid with “reality” AND start something wonderful. Because no paper wad in flight will go unanswered.
I have a hard time with the current backlash. Never fear, your child will learn of reality. In our time, when kindergarteners are doing classroom drills to survive an armed assault and brown children fear annihilation right on their sidewalks, its pretty guaranteed. Perhaps now more than ever, an extra dose of fantasy is warranted. I question the “stress” associated with this for parents. I also question whether the stress has anything to do with parenting or children. If one feels stressed by the elaborate offerings of pinterest…this is crazy, but get. off. pinterest. Don’t blame this self-induced pressure on children or the “culture of overindulgence”. It has do with competitiveness and too much screen time for adults. I’d call it “childish” but that would be demeaning to children. This is a very adultish problem. If one feels pressured to invest in minor holidays by your kid’s school, I suggest a conversation with the child’s teacher. I know. Its so not sexy. And again- adult problem. And if you’re longing to be a 70’s mom, go right ahead. Give your kid more freedom and hydrate them with some koolaid nostalgia. But if it has to do with imbibing multiple day time cocktails, and binge watching soap operas, or getting ample breaks to smoke your Capris- then what is this really about? Its not about parenting. It sounds more like the need for antidepressants.
Dialing down the magic is no favor to adult or child. A child in fantasy zone is a wonder to behold. The unselfconsciousness, the agendalessness of their play is an example to us all. It is a joyful meditation. Instead of turning away and seeking your peace and simplicity elsewhere- turn toward. Shed your electronics, lose your to do list, and tune in. What if the road to relaxation does not involve another appointment or outside engagement, what if the path lays within? Avail yourself of this world where all that matters is the placement of the next lego. Share your presence. Share your stories. And play like you mean it. Play like your life depends on it. Because in some sense it does.