Last Updated On December 29, 2019

 

January Nutshell Omen: Horses, Reigns, Riding High

 

 

“I’m pretty sure I am a Ravenclaw, but my horse, it should be a Hufflepuff.”
“You’ll need to leave my ranch immediately, m’am.”
-This Never Actually Happened

I found myself continuing to try to choreograph this experience that I had absolutely no business trying to exert control over. Yes. I orchestrated us (my daughter and I) arriving here, horseback riding on the beach. I am reminded of the beginning of an eighties soap opera..or was it a tampon commercial? Thats how I’m going to ride- wind in my hair, kicking up sand and shit. I know this isn’t true even as I fantasize about it. Now is the time to surrender the reigns (so to speak) and give myself over to the messy prospect of exposing myself as pupil, allowing myself to be chosen, and enduring the vulnerability involved in not knowing what I’m doing, being scared as all get out, and having no compass as to whether something feels “right” or familiar. Also, I become weirdly aware of my horse’s disappointment in landing me as a rider, and without a compass, I can’t tell if this is real or not.

Just flop over a horse!
As best you can
Sit waaaay too far above the ground
Teetering with weak-ass core muscles
Atop an an animal that could easily kill you
Yeeeee Haaaaaawwwww

This is how it starts.

But how it ends is:
I will no longer require a vehicle. I plan to ride a horse everywhere. I will get a saddle pocket for my dog. I don’t know when we will be back, maybe never. From now on, I will always wear an ample scarf and a crossbody tote because it makes me feel like a princess that has to escape on horseback carrying messages to the resistance.

A few bits I gathered:

* Its ok to recognize that the second time you do something, it will be better. I usually rail against this because I fear not getting another bite. Releasing that feeling of scarcity is very freeing.
* Besides swimming, I’ve always considered myself a very land-bound creature. I don’t trust my body to respond, I’m anxious about falls, slips, crashes. I don’t skate or ski or even bike ride. This experience flies in the face of this assumption about myself.
* It doesn’t work to quickly “suggest” a direction with the reigns. You must keep tension on the reigns until the horse complies, otherwise they just get confused. I feel like this is important to know. I’m not always good about holding steady.
* My vagina hurts.

 

Last Updated On December 29, 2019

 

January Nutshell Omen: Horses, Reigns, Riding High

 

“I’m pretty sure I am a Ravenclaw, but my horse, it should be a Hufflepuff.”
“You’ll need to leave my ranch immediately, m’am.”
-This Never Actually Happened

I found myself continuing to try to choreograph this experience that I had absolutely no business trying to exert control over. Yes. I orchestrated us (my daughter and I) arriving here, horseback riding on the beach. I am reminded of the beginning of an eighties soap opera..or was it a tampon commercial? Thats how I’m going to ride- wind in my hair, kicking up sand and shit. I know this isn’t true even as I fantasize about it. Now is the time to surrender the reigns (so to speak) and give myself over to the messy prospect of exposing myself as pupil, allowing myself to be chosen, and enduring the vulnerability involved in not knowing what I’m doing, being scared as all get out, and having no compass as to whether something feels “right” or familiar. Also, I become weirdly aware of my horse’s disappointment in landing me as a rider, and without a compass, I can’t tell if this is real or not.

Just flop over a horse!
As best you can
Sit waaaay too far above the ground
Teetering with weak-ass core muscles
Atop an an animal that could easily kill you
Yeeeee Haaaaaawwwww

This is how it starts.

But how it ends is:
I will no longer require a vehicle. I plan to ride a horse everywhere. I will get a saddle pocket for my dog. I don’t know when we will be back, maybe never. From now on, I will always wear an ample scarf and a crossbody tote because it makes me feel like a princess that has to escape on horseback carrying messages to the resistance.

A few bits I gathered:

* Its ok to recognize that the second time you do something, it will be better. I usually rail against this because I fear not getting another bite. Releasing that feeling of scarcity is very freeing.
* Besides swimming, I’ve always considered myself a very land-bound creature. I don’t trust my body to respond, I’m anxious about falls, slips, crashes. I don’t skate or ski or even bike ride. This experience flies in the face of this assumption about myself.
* It doesn’t work to quickly “suggest” a direction with the reigns. You must keep tension on the reigns until the horse complies, otherwise they just get confused. I feel like this is important to know. I’m not always good about holding steady.
* My vagina hurts.

Last Updated On December 29, 2019

January Nutshell Omen: Horses, Reigns, Riding High

“I’m pretty sure I am a Ravenclaw, but my horse, it should be a Hufflepuff.”
“You’ll need to leave my ranch immediately, m’am.”
-This Never Actually Happened

I found myself continuing to try to choreograph this experience that I had absolutely no business trying to exert control over. Yes. I orchestrated us (my daughter and I) arriving here, horseback riding on the beach. I am reminded of the beginning of an eighties soap opera..or was it a tampon commercial? Thats how I’m going to ride- wind in my hair, kicking up sand and shit. I know this isn’t true even as I fantasize about it. Now is the time to surrender the reigns (so to speak) and give myself over to the messy prospect of exposing myself as pupil, allowing myself to be chosen, and enduring the vulnerability involved in not knowing what I’m doing, being scared as all get out, and having no compass as to whether something feels “right” or familiar. Also, I become weirdly aware of my horse’s disappointment in landing me as a rider, and without a compass, I can’t tell if this is real or not.

Just flop over a horse!
As best you can
Sit waaaay too far above the ground
Teetering with weak-ass core muscles
Atop an an animal that could easily kill you
Yeeeee Haaaaaawwwww

This is how it starts.

But how it ends is:
I will no longer require a vehicle. I plan to ride a horse everywhere. I will get a saddle pocket for my dog. I don’t know when we will be back, maybe never. From now on, I will always wear an ample scarf and a crossbody tote because it makes me feel like a princess that has to escape on horseback carrying messages to the resistance.

A few bits I gathered:

* Its ok to recognize that the second time you do something, it will be better. I usually rail against this because I fear not getting another bite. Releasing that feeling of scarcity is very freeing.
* Besides swimming, I’ve always considered myself a very land-bound creature. I don’t trust my body to respond, I’m anxious about falls, slips, crashes. I don’t skate or ski or even bike ride. This experience flies in the face of this assumption about myself.
* It doesn’t work to quickly “suggest” a direction with the reigns. You must keep tension on the reigns until the horse complies, otherwise they just get confused. I feel like this is important to know. I’m not always good about holding steady.
* My vagina hurts.