Last Updated On July 8, 2020

 

“I shall create! If not a note, a hole. If not an overture, a desecration.” -Gwendolyn Brooks

 

 

I don’t know what it is
Maybe I don’t like the sound
Of my own voice right now
And thats not a judgement
I’m not editing for content
Its more about availability
For listening

Because nature and the universe is conspiring to force if necessary this season
Of listening
A reckoning
An accounting
A truth-telling
A sacred pause between the clap of shame and the strike of denial
Just stop for a beat
Let the moment go by
Then sink in
And level up
Its just like the breast stroke
That next breathe will come, its natural
We are all born of water.

All this effort makes change seem like the easier sister.
The laid back one,
The sister licking her fingertips
After every barbecue chip,
The sister who makes sangria with powdered lemonade
And cools her feet one
At a time
As she crosses
And uncrosses
Her legs over a cheap plastic baby pool.
The sister who still reads magazines and
Lets her phone run out of juice.
Thats the sister whose lap we want to make home,
Damp and wrapped in a towel
Like a limp moth.

So yes,
Blub blub blub
Immerse yourself into the deep thoughts
Make the uncomfortable realizations
Pull hard into re-orientation
But don’t forget the easy sister
We need her too
Her independent joys outside of work and retail and venues and heavy plans.
Amen, she is the unconventional Buddha

I find a magnetic attraction to a state, that well, is fundamentally

Racist

*all breathes suck in*

Because every time I am faced with truth
My response is “of course”.
“Of course” is the intellectual’s castle
Accepting truth, claiming the all knowing, yet remaining unaffected
The monster observer
I cut my monster teeth in the monotone of a middle school classroom dispassionately discussing the three fifths compromise as if the entire premise wasn’t an ice cold horror of an unbelievably inhumane concept. Look, they made a “compromise” about the literal value of a human being- “of course” they did
“Of course” I live on stolen land,
“Of course” we cage children,
Short memories, history of lies, police state
Of course, of course, of course
I mean, look how we started, look who we are, how could we be expected to be anything better?

And right here,
In a very liberal way,
I have normalized the suffering of others.
I never get past the of course to envision a different future
A righteous future, a reversal of the un-natural, freedom from the absurd
My “of course” has become dangerous, toxic and twisted.
A sick rationalization that I claim no responsibility for
And whose consequences my privilege protects me from.

Negativity is not a character flaw or a safe zone or even a mental health issue
These are limited individualized interpretations
Its time to embrace the collective consciousness
Hopes and dreams and expectations and good works are essential to OUR survival
We must believe progress is not only possible but inevitable
I cannot concrete someone else’s future with the past
Creating a new grotesque racist monument
Its time for a new narrative.

I see this.
I was this.
I will do better.

Now let’s go fill that baby pool…

 

Last Updated On July 8, 2020

 

“I shall create! If not a note, a hole. If not an overture, a desecration.” -Gwendolyn Brooks

 

I don’t know what it is
Maybe I don’t like the sound
Of my own voice right now
And thats not a judgement
I’m not editing for content
Its more about availability
For listening

Because nature and the universe is conspiring to force if necessary this season
Of listening
A reckoning
An accounting
A truth-telling
A sacred pause between the clap of shame and the strike of denial
Just stop for a beat
Let the moment go by
Then sink in
And level up
Its just like the breast stroke
That next breathe will come, its natural
We are all born of water.

All this effort makes change seem like the easier sister.
The laid back one,
The sister licking her fingertips
After every barbecue chip,
The sister who makes sangria with powdered lemonade
And cools her feet one
At a time
As she crosses
And uncrosses
Her legs over a cheap plastic baby pool.
The sister who still reads magazines and
Lets her phone run out of juice.
Thats the sister whose lap we want to make home,
Damp and wrapped in a towel
Like a limp moth.

So yes,
Blub blub blub
Immerse yourself into the deep thoughts
Make the uncomfortable realizations
Pull hard into re-orientation
But don’t forget the easy sister
We need her too
Her independent joys outside of work and retail and venues and heavy plans.
Amen, she is the unconventional Buddha

I find a magnetic attraction to a state, that well, is fundamentally

Racist

*all breathes suck in*

Because every time I am faced with truth
My response is “of course”.
“Of course” is the intellectual’s castle
Accepting truth, claiming the all knowing, yet remaining unaffected
The monster observer
I cut my monster teeth in the monotone of a middle school classroom dispassionately discussing the three fifths compromise as if the entire premise wasn’t an ice cold horror of an unbelievably inhumane concept. Look, they made a “compromise” about the literal value of a human being- “of course” they did
“Of course” I live on stolen land,
“Of course” we cage children,
Short memories, history of lies, police state
Of course, of course, of course
I mean, look how we started, look who we are, how could we be expected to be anything better?

And right here,
In a very liberal way,
I have normalized the suffering of others.
I never get past the of course to envision a different future
A righteous future, a reversal of the un-natural, freedom from the absurd
My “of course” has become dangerous, toxic and twisted.
A sick rationalization that I claim no responsibility for
And whose consequences my privilege protects me from.

Negativity is not a character flaw or a safe zone or even a mental health issue
These are limited individualized interpretations
Its time to embrace the collective consciousness
Hopes and dreams and expectations and good works are essential to OUR survival
We must believe progress is not only possible but inevitable
I cannot concrete someone else’s future with the past
Creating a new grotesque racist monument
Its time for a new narrative.

I see this.
I was this.
I will do better.

Now let’s go fill that baby pool…

Last Updated On July 8, 2020

“I shall create! If not a note, a hole. If not an overture, a desecration.” -Gwendolyn Brooks

I don’t know what it is
Maybe I don’t like the sound
Of my own voice right now
And thats not a judgement
I’m not editing for content
Its more about availability
For listening

Because nature and the universe is conspiring to force if necessary this season
Of listening
A reckoning
An accounting
A truth-telling
A sacred pause between the clap of shame and the strike of denial
Just stop for a beat
Let the moment go by
Then sink in
And level up
Its just like the breast stroke
That next breathe will come, its natural
We are all born of water.

All this effort makes change seem like the easier sister.
The laid back one,
The sister licking her fingertips
After every barbecue chip,
The sister who makes sangria with powdered lemonade
And cools her feet one
At a time
As she crosses
And uncrosses
Her legs over a cheap plastic baby pool.
The sister who still reads magazines and
Lets her phone run out of juice.
Thats the sister whose lap we want to make home,
Damp and wrapped in a towel
Like a limp moth.

So yes,
Blub blub blub
Immerse yourself into the deep thoughts
Make the uncomfortable realizations
Pull hard into re-orientation
But don’t forget the easy sister
We need her too
Her independent joys outside of work and retail and venues and heavy plans.
Amen, she is the unconventional Buddha

I find a magnetic attraction to a state, that well, is fundamentally

Racist

*all breathes suck in*

Because every time I am faced with truth
My response is “of course”.
“Of course” is the intellectual’s castle
Accepting truth, claiming the all knowing, yet remaining unaffected
The monster observer
I cut my monster teeth in the monotone of a middle school classroom dispassionately discussing the three fifths compromise as if the entire premise wasn’t an ice cold horror of an unbelievably inhumane concept. Look, they made a “compromise” about the literal value of a human being- “of course” they did
“Of course” I live on stolen land,
“Of course” we cage children,
Short memories, history of lies, police state
Of course, of course, of course
I mean, look how we started, look who we are, how could we be expected to be anything better?

And right here,
In a very liberal way,
I have normalized the suffering of others.
I never get past the of course to envision a different future
A righteous future, a reversal of the un-natural, freedom from the absurd
My “of course” has become dangerous, toxic and twisted.
A sick rationalization that I claim no responsibility for
And whose consequences my privilege protects me from.

Negativity is not a character flaw or a safe zone or even a mental health issue
These are limited individualized interpretations
Its time to embrace the collective consciousness
Hopes and dreams and expectations and good works are essential to OUR survival
We must believe progress is not only possible but inevitable
I cannot concrete someone else’s future with the past
Creating a new grotesque racist monument
Its time for a new narrative.

I see this.
I was this.
I will do better.

Now let’s go fill that baby pool…