Last Updated On November 26, 2021

 

You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious! -Donkey

 

 

This piece is part of my Garden of Delights series, see The Garden of Delights 30 Day Writing Challenge if you would like to participate all through the month of November.

More delights. A delight parfait on this bloated day after Thanksgiving.

Straining to hear:
It is a rarity today to strain to hear. Either there are buds inserted in our ear holes directing sound into our brains  or the sound quality of most things- electronics, wifi connections, quiet motors- enable us to hear things without much interference. Its made us ear lazy. Its not an issue of hearing, its more of an issue of expectations. I find it harder to hear more wispy sound, natural noises, just out of range vocalizations…my brain is always demanding clarity. So its fun to listen to fuzzy things- a conversation a few tables away or a radio station becoming out of range. I wonder if this is why I cling to vinyl records, for the love of all that accidental noise. Straining to hear is a delight because it requires your silence and dedication.

How dare:
I find it absolutely delightful when someone says “how dare!” instead of “how dare you”. It lends a certain level of drama and ridiculousness, a feigned outrage like “I cannot even go on” and better yet, “I cannot even specifically focus on you because now the trespass is larger- how dare in general, you know? How dare the universe!!”

Weird sneezes:
I like how sometimes the sneeze does not match the person or the sneeze influences my ideas about the person. A little high pitched sneeze is adorable and I’m always convinced it is betraying some aspect of vulnerability or delicacy about the person. Instead of saying “bless you!” I can’t help but say “Aw!”. If the sneeze is loud and robust I am convinced that this indicates a certain level of confidence and comedic sensibility. That person may say they are an introvert but did you get a load of that sneeze?! Beware of those that try to stifle their sneeze, even going so far as pinching their nose. I’m not saying those people are psychopaths but I’m not NOT saying it either. The most delightful sneeze to me is the secret message sneeze. For instance, my sneezes always sound like “ah shit!”. I inherited this sneeze from my aunt and I hope to pass it on.

Crumbs at the bottom:
I am delighted by the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of whatever- cookies, chips etc. I guess its more that I am delighted by my relationship to them. If I am alone or in my car and I finish the solid elements of the snack bag, I will one hundred percent of the time- tip that bag up and try to semi-effectively funnel the rest of the snack remnants down my throat. I do my best, I smile, I brush off my chest and pretend like it never happened. Nobody knows but my floor mats. In public, I would never consider this attempt. The crumbs are a sacrifice to social propriety. They understand.

###

 

Last Updated On November 26, 2021

 

You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious! -Donkey

 

This piece is part of my Garden of Delights series, see The Garden of Delights 30 Day Writing Challenge if you would like to participate all through the month of November.

More delights. A delight parfait on this bloated day after Thanksgiving.

Straining to hear:
It is a rarity today to strain to hear. Either there are buds inserted in our ear holes directing sound into our brains  or the sound quality of most things- electronics, wifi connections, quiet motors- enable us to hear things without much interference. Its made us ear lazy. Its not an issue of hearing, its more of an issue of expectations. I find it harder to hear more wispy sound, natural noises, just out of range vocalizations…my brain is always demanding clarity. So its fun to listen to fuzzy things- a conversation a few tables away or a radio station becoming out of range. I wonder if this is why I cling to vinyl records, for the love of all that accidental noise. Straining to hear is a delight because it requires your silence and dedication.

How dare:
I find it absolutely delightful when someone says “how dare!” instead of “how dare you”. It lends a certain level of drama and ridiculousness, a feigned outrage like “I cannot even go on” and better yet, “I cannot even specifically focus on you because now the trespass is larger- how dare in general, you know? How dare the universe!!”

Weird sneezes:
I like how sometimes the sneeze does not match the person or the sneeze influences my ideas about the person. A little high pitched sneeze is adorable and I’m always convinced it is betraying some aspect of vulnerability or delicacy about the person. Instead of saying “bless you!” I can’t help but say “Aw!”. If the sneeze is loud and robust I am convinced that this indicates a certain level of confidence and comedic sensibility. That person may say they are an introvert but did you get a load of that sneeze?! Beware of those that try to stifle their sneeze, even going so far as pinching their nose. I’m not saying those people are psychopaths but I’m not NOT saying it either. The most delightful sneeze to me is the secret message sneeze. For instance, my sneezes always sound like “ah shit!”. I inherited this sneeze from my aunt and I hope to pass it on.

Crumbs at the bottom:
I am delighted by the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of whatever- cookies, chips etc. I guess its more that I am delighted by my relationship to them. If I am alone or in my car and I finish the solid elements of the snack bag, I will one hundred percent of the time- tip that bag up and try to semi-effectively funnel the rest of the snack remnants down my throat. I do my best, I smile, I brush off my chest and pretend like it never happened. Nobody knows but my floor mats. In public, I would never consider this attempt. The crumbs are a sacrifice to social propriety. They understand.

###

Last Updated On November 26, 2021

You know what ELSE everybody likes? Parfaits! Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait."? Parfaits are delicious! -Donkey

This piece is part of my Garden of Delights series, see The Garden of Delights 30 Day Writing Challenge if you would like to participate all through the month of November.

More delights. A delight parfait on this bloated day after Thanksgiving.

Straining to hear:
It is a rarity today to strain to hear. Either there are buds inserted in our ear holes directing sound into our brains  or the sound quality of most things- electronics, wifi connections, quiet motors- enable us to hear things without much interference. Its made us ear lazy. Its not an issue of hearing, its more of an issue of expectations. I find it harder to hear more wispy sound, natural noises, just out of range vocalizations…my brain is always demanding clarity. So its fun to listen to fuzzy things- a conversation a few tables away or a radio station becoming out of range. I wonder if this is why I cling to vinyl records, for the love of all that accidental noise. Straining to hear is a delight because it requires your silence and dedication.

How dare:
I find it absolutely delightful when someone says “how dare!” instead of “how dare you”. It lends a certain level of drama and ridiculousness, a feigned outrage like “I cannot even go on” and better yet, “I cannot even specifically focus on you because now the trespass is larger- how dare in general, you know? How dare the universe!!”

Weird sneezes:
I like how sometimes the sneeze does not match the person or the sneeze influences my ideas about the person. A little high pitched sneeze is adorable and I’m always convinced it is betraying some aspect of vulnerability or delicacy about the person. Instead of saying “bless you!” I can’t help but say “Aw!”. If the sneeze is loud and robust I am convinced that this indicates a certain level of confidence and comedic sensibility. That person may say they are an introvert but did you get a load of that sneeze?! Beware of those that try to stifle their sneeze, even going so far as pinching their nose. I’m not saying those people are psychopaths but I’m not NOT saying it either. The most delightful sneeze to me is the secret message sneeze. For instance, my sneezes always sound like “ah shit!”. I inherited this sneeze from my aunt and I hope to pass it on.

Crumbs at the bottom:
I am delighted by the crumbs at the bottom of a bag of whatever- cookies, chips etc. I guess its more that I am delighted by my relationship to them. If I am alone or in my car and I finish the solid elements of the snack bag, I will one hundred percent of the time- tip that bag up and try to semi-effectively funnel the rest of the snack remnants down my throat. I do my best, I smile, I brush off my chest and pretend like it never happened. Nobody knows but my floor mats. In public, I would never consider this attempt. The crumbs are a sacrifice to social propriety. They understand.

###