Last Updated On October 15, 2020

 

"I have been waiting for you said the octopus with a deep voice , the waves have told me your story this is my advice.." -from the Rainbow Fish

 

 

I miss…

Them all.
I pine. My sisters my mother my daughter,
The ones I had, the ones I have, the ones that never were.
I am raw like a sea urchin’s gullet, all one cavern.
Mouth and anus, porous and sessile,
Swaying perceptively according to sea ways.
My tentacles in false animation, harried without intention
There is no backward to time just
A relentless new
A forward tide and a constant imperative to
“make the best” and “appreciate the most”

I almost hugged a person today.

I wear the crimson scarf of a friend,
Pretending it got left carelessly at my house because
She’s not dead and I’m always having friends over and
We leave tokens of ourselves because
We share our skills,
Its all communal..this isn’t real
But I’m allowed to pretend,
Me and my crimson scarf,
And my gifted leggings, also from a friend.
I trace the design and try to conjure the person she believes I am.
It works.
And it feels good, very good.

There are flowers on my doorstep.
I am still stunned by their presence and I
Uncomprehendingly step over them
“Mom, your eyes aren’t working!”
Its true, I must be navigating with a different organ right now.
Maybe ocean cilia, I’m not sure.
I’ll come back for the flowers, I swear.

I shared a favorite rock today.
Give it a paint job and send it back to me.
Stop worrying,
Rocks don’t ruin.

Sometimes the weight of the water presses down,
I leak through spongy layers,
Pain singing high in my sinuses,
And I evoke my daughter’s pulse for comfort.
Again- it works.
And it feels good, very good.

Water in
Water out
What difference does it make and then it dawns on me
How I want to spend the time I have left
Which is surprising given I spent most of the evening pondering
What dinosaur I like best and regretting whatever I just ate.
I realized that somewhere along the way
I lost all attachment to achievement, productivity, and
Expectations about lifestyle and control,
And for the rest of my days I would be satisfied with
Giving and receiving gifts.
Water in,
Water out.
Then stick around to observe.
The urchin life.

 

Last Updated On October 15, 2020

 

"I have been waiting for you said the octopus with a deep voice , the waves have told me your story this is my advice.." -from the Rainbow Fish

 

I miss…

Them all.
I pine. My sisters my mother my daughter,
The ones I had, the ones I have, the ones that never were.
I am raw like a sea urchin’s gullet, all one cavern.
Mouth and anus, porous and sessile,
Swaying perceptively according to sea ways.
My tentacles in false animation, harried without intention
There is no backward to time just
A relentless new
A forward tide and a constant imperative to
“make the best” and “appreciate the most”

I almost hugged a person today.

I wear the crimson scarf of a friend,
Pretending it got left carelessly at my house because
She’s not dead and I’m always having friends over and
We leave tokens of ourselves because
We share our skills,
Its all communal..this isn’t real
But I’m allowed to pretend,
Me and my crimson scarf,
And my gifted leggings, also from a friend.
I trace the design and try to conjure the person she believes I am.
It works.
And it feels good, very good.

There are flowers on my doorstep.
I am still stunned by their presence and I
Uncomprehendingly step over them
“Mom, your eyes aren’t working!”
Its true, I must be navigating with a different organ right now.
Maybe ocean cilia, I’m not sure.
I’ll come back for the flowers, I swear.

I shared a favorite rock today.
Give it a paint job and send it back to me.
Stop worrying,
Rocks don’t ruin.

Sometimes the weight of the water presses down,
I leak through spongy layers,
Pain singing high in my sinuses,
And I evoke my daughter’s pulse for comfort.
Again- it works.
And it feels good, very good.

Water in
Water out
What difference does it make and then it dawns on me
How I want to spend the time I have left
Which is surprising given I spent most of the evening pondering
What dinosaur I like best and regretting whatever I just ate.
I realized that somewhere along the way
I lost all attachment to achievement, productivity, and
Expectations about lifestyle and control,
And for the rest of my days I would be satisfied with
Giving and receiving gifts.
Water in,
Water out.
Then stick around to observe.
The urchin life.

Last Updated On October 15, 2020

"I have been waiting for you said the octopus with a deep voice , the waves have told me your story this is my advice.." -from the Rainbow Fish

I miss…

Them all.
I pine. My sisters my mother my daughter,
The ones I had, the ones I have, the ones that never were.
I am raw like a sea urchin’s gullet, all one cavern.
Mouth and anus, porous and sessile,
Swaying perceptively according to sea ways.
My tentacles in false animation, harried without intention
There is no backward to time just
A relentless new
A forward tide and a constant imperative to
“make the best” and “appreciate the most”

I almost hugged a person today.

I wear the crimson scarf of a friend,
Pretending it got left carelessly at my house because
She’s not dead and I’m always having friends over and
We leave tokens of ourselves because
We share our skills,
Its all communal..this isn’t real
But I’m allowed to pretend,
Me and my crimson scarf,
And my gifted leggings, also from a friend.
I trace the design and try to conjure the person she believes I am.
It works.
And it feels good, very good.

There are flowers on my doorstep.
I am still stunned by their presence and I
Uncomprehendingly step over them
“Mom, your eyes aren’t working!”
Its true, I must be navigating with a different organ right now.
Maybe ocean cilia, I’m not sure.
I’ll come back for the flowers, I swear.

I shared a favorite rock today.
Give it a paint job and send it back to me.
Stop worrying,
Rocks don’t ruin.

Sometimes the weight of the water presses down,
I leak through spongy layers,
Pain singing high in my sinuses,
And I evoke my daughter’s pulse for comfort.
Again- it works.
And it feels good, very good.

Water in
Water out
What difference does it make and then it dawns on me
How I want to spend the time I have left
Which is surprising given I spent most of the evening pondering
What dinosaur I like best and regretting whatever I just ate.
I realized that somewhere along the way
I lost all attachment to achievement, productivity, and
Expectations about lifestyle and control,
And for the rest of my days I would be satisfied with
Giving and receiving gifts.
Water in,
Water out.
Then stick around to observe.
The urchin life.