Last Updated On December 20, 2020

 

"How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heartbeat I fall in love whenever we meet I'm asking you what you know about these things How will I know if he's thinking of me I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak) Falling in love is so bittersweet This love is strong, why do I feel weak?' -Whitney Houston

 

 

Maybe its time to keep a lower profile I mean I realize I never leave the house but maybe lower than that like lower to the point of disappearing to the point of blinking out perhaps it would be better to stop producing anything unprescribed anything not guaranteed to stay safe and unaccountable and encased everyone wants this even if they are not saying it and it makes more sense to just be sad and resigned in a general way because nothing sounds good or motivating really and the things that make me sad are not actually external they are inside of me eating away because I am flawed and connecting with other people is uncertain and awkward and it would be easier for everyone if I stopped trying all this sounds strong and true and logically associated..

I am trying to detect the difference between thoughts real and unreal.
Ooh, how will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know

I’m thinking part of the process might involve letting the little ones pass. Small, quick thoughts that are immature and fearful. Let them pass through. Likely they will get eaten anyway or develop and become more seasoned, more circumspect. Many analogies could be made with the sustainable fishing movement. By-catch should be avoided for its waste and destruction. We don’t need to net toxic thoughts along with all the others. New nets are being designed that allow lighted escape hatches for the non-targeted to replace the heavy hand of long-lining. The most sustainable of fishing practices is with a spear. Elegant, decisive, balanced and focussed. This is an art we all should aspire to. Also, seasonality, the idea that there is a season for everything. There is no exhaustion of supply because seasons move and change and require different things. We can remain nimble and unclogged and unbeaten down. Because look, the sun is different and the tides have shifted and now we have permission to engage/disengage. But still no technique is perfect for all conditions and the oceans are weary. The big ones remain. They fight and persist, they are stuck and frustrated and perhaps merit more consideration. Mostly because they cannot be ignored. They are netted. They gulp and flop and they may have teeth.

This is so hard. I feel like maybe its harder for people with larger imaginations. Imaginations that can sometimes go off-track and people who look to proof or science for understanding because it all seems so difficult to pin down. Or people who are neurodiverse and see so many connections and symbols and associations in the world. So basically this so hard for most humans. Having brains.

Some fish thought questions: Does the violence of these thoughts feel like authenticity or overwrought drama? Seek drama elsewhere. Does it feel old or new? Is this an expression of habit, of out-grown conditioning? Or is it merely a pain response to current circumstances, if so apply comfort measures. Does it feel like wisdom or judgment? Wisdom does not deal in fault. Is it light or heavy? In general, weight does not aid in survival. Is it steeped in finality, damning? Red flag because we know the universe defies predictability and lives in a state of impermanence..permanently. Acknowledging possibility is not optimism, it is reason. Does the thought ring or is it dull? Sound is so important. Remain open to all sounds, not just refrains.

Weeding must commence before excessive embedding. Every invasive thought species. No mercy. Your head need not be a hot house or a cradle or a convalescent home. So pull, torch, whatever it takes. Pluck away every Chinese Water Chestnut, rake out every strand of hydrilla.
Even if you have become comfortable with them,
Even if their voices sound familiar,
Even if you once depended on them or used them as a weapon,
Even if you feel kind of sorry for them because you begrudgingly respect their ability to be so damned successful.

 

Last Updated On December 20, 2020

 

"How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heartbeat I fall in love whenever we meet I'm asking you what you know about these things How will I know if he's thinking of me I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak) Falling in love is so bittersweet This love is strong, why do I feel weak?' -Whitney Houston

 

Maybe its time to keep a lower profile I mean I realize I never leave the house but maybe lower than that like lower to the point of disappearing to the point of blinking out perhaps it would be better to stop producing anything unprescribed anything not guaranteed to stay safe and unaccountable and encased everyone wants this even if they are not saying it and it makes more sense to just be sad and resigned in a general way because nothing sounds good or motivating really and the things that make me sad are not actually external they are inside of me eating away because I am flawed and connecting with other people is uncertain and awkward and it would be easier for everyone if I stopped trying all this sounds strong and true and logically associated..

I am trying to detect the difference between thoughts real and unreal.
Ooh, how will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know

I’m thinking part of the process might involve letting the little ones pass. Small, quick thoughts that are immature and fearful. Let them pass through. Likely they will get eaten anyway or develop and become more seasoned, more circumspect. Many analogies could be made with the sustainable fishing movement. By-catch should be avoided for its waste and destruction. We don’t need to net toxic thoughts along with all the others. New nets are being designed that allow lighted escape hatches for the non-targeted to replace the heavy hand of long-lining. The most sustainable of fishing practices is with a spear. Elegant, decisive, balanced and focussed. This is an art we all should aspire to. Also, seasonality, the idea that there is a season for everything. There is no exhaustion of supply because seasons move and change and require different things. We can remain nimble and unclogged and unbeaten down. Because look, the sun is different and the tides have shifted and now we have permission to engage/disengage. But still no technique is perfect for all conditions and the oceans are weary. The big ones remain. They fight and persist, they are stuck and frustrated and perhaps merit more consideration. Mostly because they cannot be ignored. They are netted. They gulp and flop and they may have teeth.

This is so hard. I feel like maybe its harder for people with larger imaginations. Imaginations that can sometimes go off-track and people who look to proof or science for understanding because it all seems so difficult to pin down. Or people who are neurodiverse and see so many connections and symbols and associations in the world. So basically this so hard for most humans. Having brains.

Some fish thought questions: Does the violence of these thoughts feel like authenticity or overwrought drama? Seek drama elsewhere. Does it feel old or new? Is this an expression of habit, of out-grown conditioning? Or is it merely a pain response to current circumstances, if so apply comfort measures. Does it feel like wisdom or judgment? Wisdom does not deal in fault. Is it light or heavy? In general, weight does not aid in survival. Is it steeped in finality, damning? Red flag because we know the universe defies predictability and lives in a state of impermanence..permanently. Acknowledging possibility is not optimism, it is reason. Does the thought ring or is it dull? Sound is so important. Remain open to all sounds, not just refrains.

Weeding must commence before excessive embedding. Every invasive thought species. No mercy. Your head need not be a hot house or a cradle or a convalescent home. So pull, torch, whatever it takes. Pluck away every Chinese Water Chestnut, rake out every strand of hydrilla.
Even if you have become comfortable with them,
Even if their voices sound familiar,
Even if you once depended on them or used them as a weapon,
Even if you feel kind of sorry for them because you begrudgingly respect their ability to be so damned successful.

Last Updated On December 20, 2020

"How will I know if he really loves me? I say a prayer with every heartbeat I fall in love whenever we meet I'm asking you what you know about these things How will I know if he's thinking of me I try to phone but I'm too shy (can't speak) Falling in love is so bittersweet This love is strong, why do I feel weak?' -Whitney Houston

Maybe its time to keep a lower profile I mean I realize I never leave the house but maybe lower than that like lower to the point of disappearing to the point of blinking out perhaps it would be better to stop producing anything unprescribed anything not guaranteed to stay safe and unaccountable and encased everyone wants this even if they are not saying it and it makes more sense to just be sad and resigned in a general way because nothing sounds good or motivating really and the things that make me sad are not actually external they are inside of me eating away because I am flawed and connecting with other people is uncertain and awkward and it would be easier for everyone if I stopped trying all this sounds strong and true and logically associated..

I am trying to detect the difference between thoughts real and unreal.
Ooh, how will I know (don’t trust your feelings)
How will I know
How will I know (love can be deceiving)
How will I know

I’m thinking part of the process might involve letting the little ones pass. Small, quick thoughts that are immature and fearful. Let them pass through. Likely they will get eaten anyway or develop and become more seasoned, more circumspect. Many analogies could be made with the sustainable fishing movement. By-catch should be avoided for its waste and destruction. We don’t need to net toxic thoughts along with all the others. New nets are being designed that allow lighted escape hatches for the non-targeted to replace the heavy hand of long-lining. The most sustainable of fishing practices is with a spear. Elegant, decisive, balanced and focussed. This is an art we all should aspire to. Also, seasonality, the idea that there is a season for everything. There is no exhaustion of supply because seasons move and change and require different things. We can remain nimble and unclogged and unbeaten down. Because look, the sun is different and the tides have shifted and now we have permission to engage/disengage. But still no technique is perfect for all conditions and the oceans are weary. The big ones remain. They fight and persist, they are stuck and frustrated and perhaps merit more consideration. Mostly because they cannot be ignored. They are netted. They gulp and flop and they may have teeth.

This is so hard. I feel like maybe its harder for people with larger imaginations. Imaginations that can sometimes go off-track and people who look to proof or science for understanding because it all seems so difficult to pin down. Or people who are neurodiverse and see so many connections and symbols and associations in the world. So basically this so hard for most humans. Having brains.

Some fish thought questions: Does the violence of these thoughts feel like authenticity or overwrought drama? Seek drama elsewhere. Does it feel old or new? Is this an expression of habit, of out-grown conditioning? Or is it merely a pain response to current circumstances, if so apply comfort measures. Does it feel like wisdom or judgment? Wisdom does not deal in fault. Is it light or heavy? In general, weight does not aid in survival. Is it steeped in finality, damning? Red flag because we know the universe defies predictability and lives in a state of impermanence..permanently. Acknowledging possibility is not optimism, it is reason. Does the thought ring or is it dull? Sound is so important. Remain open to all sounds, not just refrains.

Weeding must commence before excessive embedding. Every invasive thought species. No mercy. Your head need not be a hot house or a cradle or a convalescent home. So pull, torch, whatever it takes. Pluck away every Chinese Water Chestnut, rake out every strand of hydrilla.
Even if you have become comfortable with them,
Even if their voices sound familiar,
Even if you once depended on them or used them as a weapon,
Even if you feel kind of sorry for them because you begrudgingly respect their ability to be so damned successful.

»